I can't, i just can't

They say bad things happen in sets of three. After this past week I'm beginning to think maybe three in a row just isn't enough for those in charge of the Universe.

It all started when my friend's bike got jacked in Williamsburg while another friend was borrowing it. Now, I've seen the chains that he has on this thing and how he removes the seat when he locks it up, so I was pretty surprised to say the least. Less than two days later while on the hunt for the missing bike, said friend bought a shiny new bike, pretty sweet. Well, after a solid 24 hours worth of riding, that too went to way the of the former, jacked!

Stolen bikes aside but keeping with the bike theme, two of my friends were double riding on a bike from the bar on Saturday. Lord knows they had to share the bike because the other friend already has his bike stolen. It was quite late and they had stopped to get falafel and were headed home when they rolled too far into an intersection and were hit by a car! Hit and run no less! Luckily they were not hurt and the bike's basket only received minor damage. As an act of good faith, a cab-driver who witnessed the events chased down the driver of the other car and escorted him back to my friends who were assessing all that had happened. In response to being handed over the culprit, my friend Mark's main concern was the falafel he had yet to eat that now lay all over the street. They decided that a crisp $20 bill would suffice as payment and would keep them from calling the Police. But don't worry, Mark managed to swipe another $5 that fell out the man's wallet. He informed me that he "put his foot over the $5 bill" when he saw it drop and waited for the man to look away before picking it up. This was right before they scraped the falafel off the street and took it home and ate it!

Meanwhile, on the other side of town my other friend Justin is walking home from the same bar when he is accosted by three random guys who push him down and steal his wallet and house/car keys! Who the f**k steals someones keys? Were they planning on walking up and down the street trying to find his apartment by trying every door and then rob the place? Were they going to walk up and down the street until they found a Lincoln that lit up when they pressed the unlock button and steal it?

And on yet another side of town there is me. I have decided to avert disaster by TAKING a cab home, rather than become victim to the tragedy of the night. As a reoccurring problem, after a drink or two, I forget where I live. My roommates can attest to this as I always argue with cab drivers when they tell me there isn't any 720 Calyer Street. "Oh really, because that's where I live!" I always tell them. But actually, I don't live at 720 Calyer Street, in fact that isn't even the name of my street! This in mind, how I ended up four blocks from my house, but not on Calyer or my street is beyond me. So there I am, running like a tranny down a busy street at 4:00 AM trying to find my damn apartment.

I can't, I really, truly, just can't!