Starting 2009 off right, I finally decided to break down and join the gym. Generally I enjoy running outside for exercise, but the end 2008 was a rather cold and windy one in Brooklyn and I found myself skipping multiple days in a row and really lacking in the exercise department. I knew it was official when Stephen agreed that I used to have a nice body. The jig was up.
Given the fact that my roommates already belonged to the local Y, it was close and is the cheapest thing around, I decided it was my best bet. I live in a very diverse area of the country so it takes a lot to shock me, but the crowd at this Y is quite a sight.
The first week I worked out, I found myself next to a man who looked to be 110 years old, barely any meat on his bones, cycling on the bike with all his might. I literally thought he'd have a heart attack right on the spot. He was cycling when I get on the treadmill going full speed and was still going strong when I got off 30 minutes later.
Over to my left is another anorexic member, this time it's a woman on the Eliptical having a similar affair with her exercise machine. She was soaked in sweat and her eyes were rolling back into her head. Between the two of them, I was scanning the area for the closest payphone in case I had to call 911 should one of them collapse. At this point I am starting to think that everyone that goes to the Y is pretty die hard. Then this bitch strolls into the cardio room in jeans, a big jacket, bright sneakers and about 100 more layers under her jacket. She also has on thick brown glasses and a winter hat. I thought maybe she made a wrong turn and was looking for a local hipster bar. No such luck.
After finding an open treadmill, she proceeded to begin stripping down in front of the machine and piling her clothes in the corner. No need for a locker room or locker I thought to myself. After successfully stripping off half of her layers, she pulled out a small paperback book and began walking on the treadmill at a snail's pace. Bitch was reading small print Jane Austin while working out! This is particularly annoying considering it was January and everyone and their brother (including myself) starts or gets back into going to the gym. Therefore, the place is packed and there is always a line to get a machine around dinner time. Doesn't bother this one in the least, she is going to trot her ass slow as molasses on that treadmill for her allotted 30 minutes.
On my way out the door, I pass two bearded gingers on the stair masters and a jacked blond guy doing a couple free weights. I guess I'll have to learn to take the good with the bad.
